Forgiveness
Forgiveness is difficult for me to write about. It’s even more difficult for me to do. I was once told that, being a small woman of considerable German heritage, I probably did not think that 200 years was too long to hold a grudge.
I laughed at the time, but the more I thought about it, the more real it became for me. While I am intensely loyal to my family and friends, I am equally dismissive to those who have harmed me or someone I love. I tend to quickly and fiercely “take on” any person or force that threatens them. I have no patience with dishonesty, cheating, or any other breaches of integrity. While we all say and do things we regret, that may be stupid or ill-advised at the time, those acts pale in comparison to actually doing harm to a person or any sentient being. I have often thought of myself as a “dragon-slayer,” the kind of person you’d want in your corner if a fire-breathing dragon (real or otherwise) were coming after you.
That kind of attitude is not very compatible with forgiveness.
As I have grown older, and, I hope, wiser, I have come to the point where I let more petty offenses slide off of my back than I once did. Still, that is only the first step on the way to “forgiveness.”
Mark Twain wrote: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." In fact, as I began to think (well, actually worry!) about this week’s topic, that was the only quote that would come to me. What does a violet have to give, but its beauty and fragrance? And when its beauty has been crushed, all that is left to give is fragrance. How hard that is! To give the last of what you have, to one who has harmed you!
I think that is the true measure of forgiveness: not just to ignore or forget the harm done, but to actually give of ourselves to those who hurt us. I’m not there yet.
by Diane Foley
Copyright (c) 2011
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