Leading with Love
Some leaders lead with fear and intimidation. True leaders lead with love.
Learning that Michael's big theme was love, L.O.V.E, I needed to know HIS definition of love. One day I asked him "So, what is love?" He replied, "Love is giving. Like the old cliche, you can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving." He went on to describe the beauty and powerful impact that is created when -- say in a stage concert -- everyone is doing their task at the level of excellence. He said it creates a combination that is greater than the sum of its parts. These multiple layers of love (in the lights, the sound, the dance, the voice, the everything...) create a unique experience and it's so intense that the audience is overwhelmed. When someone does their task with excellence, giving everything they've got -- that's an expression of love. He said that they didn't know it, but they were overwhelmed by love because in most cases most people never carry out their mission with that level of excellence. It's saying, "I love you enough to do my best!"
There are givers and takers in life. He was a giver. He would use all of his resources - his presence, his name, his fame, his money... to help other people and encourage them in their situation. He didn't belittle them or walk away -- he saw the problem, was HONEST about it, and gave us ways to be encouraged to be strong and rise up higher. Like in the beginning to "Earth Song" he describes his passion to turn the plight of destruction into a call for world wide change: "That's why I WRITE these songs -- to bring awareness and awakening and HOPE to people." Not guilt, blame or shame.
His resources no doubt were more than many, but his example is that we give whatever is needed, whatever we HAVE, to meet the situation. Like his song "What more can I give?" I will give all that I can give, and give over and over again. Giving as a way of life - not out of obligation but out of our heart. He would plead for us all to stand up and heal the plights near and far by giving of ourselves, giving help in ways that heal, that bring comfort.
He would join people together. As much as he could single-handedly accomplish many amazing achievements, he always understood that when you join forces with others, you can accomplish even more! As is the case sometimes tho in large groups, there is dissention or disagreement. I believe he would encourage the sentiment that was put forth by St Augustine: In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity (Lovingkindness)." We can have differences of opinion, and different priorities, but he would remind us that we come from love and that we ARE love, and that we are all one.
He would lead by example, not just words. He led by communicating the POSITIVE... what he DID want to do. not just negative words. For me, he actually created a whole change in me by modeling movements and exercises. Almost without thinking, I followed his gestures...like a baby who imitates a wave, and realizes that they can DO this new thing. But what he was doing was ballet plie's, rond de jambs, lunges, leg lifts, and even pilates. He didn't tell me what to do and give a hard shove to the shoulders. He modeled it and invited me to JOIN HIM. He made it look so easy. He encouraged and praised every little step, using positive reinforcement. And with great patience, the effect he wanted came about, not by manipulation, struggle, guilt or shame, but by positivity, modeling, encouraging, believing and love. PATIENCE.
Patience is something so lacking. I used to think of it as a passive quality, but though watching him, I realized he had power in patience. That allowed him to let his love and encouragement germinate in people to let them develop at their pace. But I will also say, he couples 'patience' with insistence and persistence. He won't let you slide back into self-defeating ways. When I would tell him, "OK I'll try it" he would be insistent in a funny way -- with his best Yoda impersonation saying "Try? There is no try, there is only DO." He left me no wiggle room to make excuses. When he is going for a goal or is encouraging you to strive for one, he is persistent in his requests. He's not afraid to ask the best of you. I see that as being a great leader and motivator -- he KNOWS you have the best in you but you've never been called upon to really bring it forth. HE DOES. He insists on the best, and keeps asking until it's there.
He would read, study, learn, pray, change, practice what he learned -- and then practice some more. This is true of us as well. For the changes that are needed of us, we must be willing to learn what we need for where we're going. This will expand you, challenge and increase your understanding. Take that opportunity to undergo a change...for change first takes place in the mind. As Henry Ford once said: Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
So many times when he would challenge me to do something new, I felt so insecure in my talents, abilities or just self image. But he showed me the first step. He offered his extended hand in a gesture to dance and asked me, "Are you ready??" Not knowing what would be expected of me, my shy insecure self replied, "I don't know if I'm ready. Or Able. But, I'm willing." With a huge grin he pulled me in and said with a long whisper "That's all you need------------! THIS is the dance of love." He would encourage us to do new and better things...to invest more energy and faith in our motivations than our fears. It's been said that God loves us the way we are, but loves us too much to leave us that way. He models for us the strong ways that love propels us upward and onward into new realms, whole new worlds, new ways of thinking, breaking our boxes, our chains our barriers our "I can'ts". He emboldens us with his own courage to say YOU CAN MAKE IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU, SO YOU BELIEVE IN YOU!
Lift your head up high and scream out to the world
I know I am someone and let the truth unfurl
No one can hurt you now because you know what's true
Yes, I believe in me, so you believe in you
One of the biggest changes has been a global phenomenon of spiritual awakening. A social awareness awakening. A love awakening. He would remind us that all power comes from God, but that God works through people. That means that we can play important roles, even so-called ordinary people! SHOW your faith, DO good works, let your LIGHT SHINE! Fill your heart with love and light. He would challenge us to find in our souls our true capacity which has no limits. Believe more, try more, do more. He would have us reach for the highest self, the highest spiritual development, the loftiest investment in the unlimited. Highest. Biggest. Best.
THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD DO.
by Rita Bosico
Copyright (c) 2011
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