Call For Love Devotion - July 7: Caring For Our Children

When I was very young - 7 or 8 years old I made my first scrapbook of my ideal husband: men who really loved children, so I cut out pictures, advertisements mostly, of a father looking adoringly at his newborn baby, or fathers playing and horsing around with their children. I wanted a man who really, truly loved children as much as I did and who wanted to have lots of children, like I did. Fate is strange sometimes and life can turn out entirely differently than you hoped for, but it's always for a good reason, that I believe in with all my heart. So, while I didn't become a mother or find the man I had been looking for, I gave my love to the children I babysat for during many years.

When I babysat for many children, I would read them bedtime stories from their favorite books, over and over again, no matter how often they wanted to hear that same story, and fall asleep in that comforting realization of familiarity. Often though, I would just as easily make up a story, asking the child what is was they wanted to hear a story about. The story would be born from the precipes of my mind, letting my imagination run wild, and a new story would unfold each time, meanwhile tired heads leaning on my arms, sucking their thumb and nearly dozing off....

Once I babysat for two children, during a couple of months, every saturday. The girl always wanted to "play house" and her younger brother wanted to play with his cars. Both of their parents were physicians, who were very busy, which didn't leave much time for the children. So when I arrived, they outdid each other in trying to tell me their stories, talking louder and quicker to gain attention. As a result the boy had developed a stutter. When they both, in their excitement, tried to tell me their stories at the same time I said "Listen up guys, i want to hear each of your stories, so why don't we tell our stories taking turns. When Allison talks, Neil and I will listen, and when Neil talks Allison and I will listen, okay?' Each child could then take all the time he/she needed for their own stories, and within months the boys stutter was gone.

Another time, fast forward to years later, I was babysitting my oldest nephew, who was then only 3 months old. His mom, my sister-in-law, kissed him goodbye and off they went, his parents. My nephew started to cry from that moment on, and no matter what I tried; a bottle, a clean diaper, strolling around, singing softly, getting him to burp, nothing worked. I was getting desperate myself and felt tears of frustration welling up. What to do? Then I had an idea: I put him in his parents bed, on his mothers side and for some reason I cannot explain I drew circles with my finger in his tiny hand. Within 5 minutes he fell sound asleep. When his parents got home I told them what I had done and finally came up with. My sister-in-law looked at me and then exclaimed "but, how is that possible? You did the exact same thing as I do", but she had forgotten to tell me about, just in case.

What is the point in these shared anecdotes?

When we harbor and cherish our childlike qualities, that inner child that lives inside us, we can easily connect with the children around us, and react from the heart to what is needed in that moment. Giving a child the confidence to be what they want to be, to be cherished, valued and loved as they are, is a great gift, together with boundaries: rules that are to be abided by, thus giving a sense of security, being protected and cared for.

Even now, I love to make a funny face to a crying child in the supermarket, giving it some attention, which surprises it so, that the child forgets to cry. To be able to make that difference, gives me joy. Being one with children, seeing the world through their eyes is so endearing and refreshing!!

by Elmira van Galen
Copyright (c) 2011